so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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