Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
