nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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