i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
