i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
