This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize