Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
