i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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