Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
