singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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