Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
