You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
