Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize