Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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