It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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