if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
