4 words: hood of his car
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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