i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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