I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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