Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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