I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She announced her abortion via fbk
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
