There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
