Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
