Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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