What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
