Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
