my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
