are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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