Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize