I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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