somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
