mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
