I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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