I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
