Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
