puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
