So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i've created a new STD.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
