Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
