I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
