did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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