P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
