My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Randomize
