so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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