dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
