What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
