I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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