Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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