i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
