sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize