Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
