doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
