Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
