Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
