Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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