god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
