at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
