Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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