I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i need some magic done to my vagina
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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