I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
