This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
This is the prime rib incident all over again
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
