I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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