I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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