Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize