Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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