Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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