How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
