And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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