Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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