first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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