Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
